1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
