So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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