You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
