Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
