I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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