You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
