just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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