nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
