i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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