This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I could make wine with my vomit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
