Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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