who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She just used a chaser for red wine.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
