i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
