Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
