omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
