Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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