You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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