Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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