He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Umm I'm too high to move.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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