I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
