I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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