yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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