laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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