Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
