the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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