erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've blown a few things in my day
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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