I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
