apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
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