Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
