Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
