i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
