Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
