they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just puked most of my soul out..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
