Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think people are normalizing furries
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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