Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
