im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
