break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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