There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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