Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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