According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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