Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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