Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
