Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
