I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
