True but thats because hes a fetus.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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