You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
