Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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