I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
