dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
