I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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