theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This is the high leading the old right now
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
