we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think people are normalizing furries
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
